dd CHAAAAAARGE!

i'm about ready to wipe my
nasty infected, neglected, rejected, windoze, n what does it do,
it gives my wine a flue,
just right before she goes.

...
that's it... anything else i've missed in my epic dvd backupiing over the past wee while can wait... this is it... i'm going in... dd! CHAAAARGE!



next pc i swear... no more windows tax!


here we go, wheeeeee. joy!

dd if=/dev/zero of=/dev/sda1

(KIND WARNING ^^ DONT ENTER THAT INTO YOUR TERMINAL AS ROOT UNLESS U WANT TO WIPE YOUR FIRST HD'S FIRST PARTITIONS CONTENT IRRETRIEVABLY. SERIOUSLY DONT! NO! STOP.)

dd is ... godly.


also, never actually charge into issuing a dd command to your computer, heck no... that kind of thing demands a bit of a check proceedure to follow...

1, are you sure that's the right command?
2, are you sure that's the right way around, in file, out file?
3, are you sure that's the right command?
4, are you sure that's the right location for the in file?
5, are you sure that's the right location for the out file?
6, are you sure that's the right options and arguments?
7, slap your self in the face,
8, are you sure that's the right command?
9, are you sure that's the right way around, in file, out file?
10, are you sure that's the right command?
11, are you sure that's the right location for the in file?
12, are you sure that's the right location for the out file?
13, are you sure that's the right options and arguments?
14, are you sure you have them the right way around?
15, are you sure you know what it means by if?
16, are you sure you understand the consequences of of?
17, have you got the syntax right?
18, are you sure you have the syntax right?
19, have you double checked with a separate source if you have the syntax right?
20, have you checked to see if you really do have the if and of the right way around?
21, are you really sure you want to do this?
22, you have checked to make absolutely certain the only copy of the bloomingfeild report isnt left in what you are about to destroy with the of?
23, have you made certain this is what you want to do?
24, have you made sure this is what you want to do?
25, read 27, then 26.
26, walk away.
27, and then come back after doing 26.
28, are you sure you have the right locations and the right order of in file and out file??
...

some time later..


124, if you answered yes to all of 83 to 123, are you now fully certain of all the criteria you have to be certain of?
125, are you sure?
126, are you sure?
127, are you sure?
128, are you sure?
129, are you sure?
130, are you sure you are sure?
131, are you sure that if the next question were about what you originally were sure of, you'd be able to competently and accurately and correctly answer it?
132, what were you originally sure of?
133, are you sure?
134, where does that take it from?
135, where does that put it to?
136, are you sure?
137, repeat the now familiar walk away and come maneuver which you should by now have completed at least three times, possibly seven.
138, cup your face in your hands and say "am i sure?"
139, repeat, but this time, shake your head as you say it. did it feel any less certain?
140, are you certain of anything, is that chair really there, are any of us, is it all imagination, illusion or mere projection?
141, will anyone die if you get this wrong?
142, are you sure you have fully made sense of what's the in file and what's the out file?
143, did you just copy a command you found in a websearch and have just been winging it by answering yes to every question?
144, if you answered yes to 143, go back to 47 and repeat the walk away, pause, come back maneuver on
...

some time later,

219, looking at it still sat there waiting for your password, focus... are you sure? if sure, proceed to 220, if unsure, return to question 151.
220, you've already made the decision, now you have to understand why.
221, do you understand why? if not, go back to 25.
222, and you've still got time left to ensure the machine will be free to run this for the forseeable future without any impinging consequence?
223, and you're sure you're sure you've got the if and of the right way around?
224, and certain you want/need it done?
225, ok then, press enter,

YOU ARE NOW THE DATA DESTROYER MASTER! DATA DESTROYER IS NOW RUNNING!

226. ok, just um... wait, or whatever... do something else for a while.
227, look around and see if u can find anything that indicates you got it wrong, and you've done something horribly wrong.
228, if you find something, run through questions 125-130, as if you were asking yourself if you are sure you need to do a drastic abort.
229, if you didnt find anything, keep looking for a while, until you are fairly confident you are past the point of no return.
230, await paitently for it to finish (which may indeed be ages), and repeat 227.
231, job done.




but today, i think instead of the checks, i'm just going to go, GUNG HO! CHAAAAARGE!